Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Making friends and the dating game – much-of-a-muchness really!

One of my very good friends got married at the weekend and it made me a little homesick. Having my friends on the other side of the world makes even the smallest event seem huge and those big events like a wedding seem devastating to miss. But it does also make me think how much you really do need people close to you (at least in the same city) to call upon.

“Making friends” almost sounds juvenile, it is what your parents say to you when you move school ‘it’s okay darling, you’ll make new friends!’ It is not something you usually have to consciously think about and work at when you are an adult.

“Making friends” as an adult feels like the dating game. You meet someone, have a good time, you might tentatively ask for their number and then you stew on it for a while thinking ‘should I call? What if they don’t like me? Will they think I’m weird asking them out for coffee?’ Also like dating, you have to “go out” with them two or three times before you realise whether there is something there. And sometimes you feel like that annoying girl, who keeps trying to do something and the effort is not reciprocated. That’s when you need someone to say ‘she’s just not that into you’ so you can move onto the next prospective friendship.

Of course, it doesn’t help that the Danes are notoriously difficult to crack. They’re infamously known to be “friendly, but not welcoming” – meaning their superficial interactions are pleasant, but deeper relationships are very difficult to cultivate.

I’ve done the dating game and I hate it. I dislike it even more that I have to so obviously seek friends as an adult. Oh well, at least I’ve got six of the most wonderful friends anyone could ask for at the end of the phone line.

A shout out to my beautiful friends. I miss you!


  1. oh fluffy, I miss you!!! i missed you on saturday, but i know you were there in spirit with us and it was so special to get a phone call from you that morning!
    guy and i had an amazing day and just felt like it was as perfect as it could have been - except for forgetting my vowels!!! embarrassing. it was all pretty intense, but it was all worth it. hope your 'dating games' go well hun, and i have no doubt you will make some good friends there xoxo

  2. I know exactly how you feel with the making new friends dating game! It is rough! You are such a funny writer!